All of those are important things to say. How does it make for a better book?
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Typically, sex means the main protagonists are in a positive, committed relationship at the end. There can be romatic key characters, other significant plots, but the development of the romantic relationship is the most important.
If the whole novel is the Himalayas, the romance plot is the Everest.
Tnaflixporn novels are about romantic relationships. A significant part of romantic relationships for most people is sexual attraction leading to sex.
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Therefore, it makes sense to include sex kims amateurs popular romance fiction. Like any novel, a romance is supposed to connect you to a narrative outside of your own life.
Making fun of romance readers for scenes feelings when they read makes about as much sense as making fun of horror readers for feeling scared or thriller readers for feeling thrilled. Over the top?
And to see why, you have to stop looking at romance novels as some weird alien entities and start seeing them as, you know, novels. Some of the sexiest scenes in romance are the least overtly sexual: The significance of sex in romance has very little to do with how detailed or explicit it is.